AF arrived yesterday. Too devastated to write. DH and I distracting ourselves with old NCIS episodes. It's good to grieve together. Tomorrow we face the world again, but today we cling to each other.
I'm 30 years old, am married to my best friend, and am blessed with wonderful family and friends. I love God and am pleased that he knows me and loves me just the same. I love kids, have always worked with kids, and always thought I would have lots of kids of my own. I never thought it would be easy, but I never thought it would be this hard.
2005 - get married 2006 - continue honeymoon period - what bliss! Feb 2007 - throw out BCP, but not yet TTC July '07 - start TTC, oh what fun and blissful ignorance! Nov '07 - I start worrying, DH still enjoying himself around July '08 - start testing with GP, DH's SA shows abnormality, progesterone normal, ovulating normal, referral to FS Sept '08 - meet FS, not a good fit, HSG normal, repeat SA normal Dec '08 - meet with new FS, love her! Suspect endometriosis, arrange lap for following year. Feb '09 - lap removes mild endometriosis and small cysts. TTC naturally for six months. April '09 - BFP! 1st ever, joy shortlived, chemical pregnancy August '09 - commence IUI #1, 3 follies, lots of wrigglers, chemical pregnancy? Sept '09 - IUI #2, BFN Oct '09 - IUI #3, BFN, chemical pregnancy? Oct '09 - FS appt, suspected recurrent miscarriages after 3 +ve HPT in past 6 months. Scheduled BT and scans. Nov '09 - start IVF, 6 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs frozen, 1 egg immature, 2 fertilised, 1 embryo transferred. BFN March '10 - FE(egg)T, 1/3 eggs survived thaw, 1 egg fertilized, chemical pregnancy May '10 - long down reg IVF. 11 eggs, 2 fert (1 survives), 9 frozen. 1st HCG=42, 2nd = 72, 3rd=160. 8wks5days hb=158. 10wks no hb at OB appt. D&C 19th July. Sept '10- FE(egg)T, 0/9 eggs survive thaw Nov '10- diagnosed with thyroiditis, compound heterozygous for MTHFR, elevated homocysteine 2011- ?IVF#3
Useful Books I've Read
"Swimming Upstream" infertility from the male perspective
"Hannah's Hope" - a Christian perspective on infertility and loss
Praying for you...
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you. Take care of yourselves.
ReplyDeleteSorry. My cycle was a no go too. It sucks!
ReplyDelete