Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Yesterdays doctor's appointment did not go as expected. Essentially he scoffed at the MTHFR and homocysteine diagnosis, saying that it makes no difference to a woman's ability to conceive or give birth to healthy children, and suggested that the doctor who made the diagnosis gets excited by blood test results that she shouldn't be excited by.

When he said this, so bluntly, I felt the world collapse from under me and I couldn't stop crying. I realised how much hope I was putting in this diagnosis being the answer to all our problems. As you can tell from my last post, I was expecting that we would have a clear direction after yesterdays appointment; a decision of whether we would stop or continue IVF.

So the appointment didn't turn out like either DH or I expected. It did not give us the direction we are so obviously craving. The doctor did send me for blood tests to recheck my homocysteine level (I have no idea why) and suggested that is might be a marker for something else wrong in my body. He seems to be thinking there might be something wrong with my kidneys. At this point I was feeling a little incredulous. I mean, who cares about my kidneys when my entire reproductive system isn't working!!? DH explained to me (putting his medical hat on for a moment) that the kidney's regulate hormones and have a great deal to do with fertility.

So. I'll get blood results back on Thursday or Friday and I have a couple of tests/ultrasounds I'll need to get to in between Christmas, New Year and holidays.

We're not completely decided as to whether we will continue IVF in 2011. I feel so very fragile emotionally and I feel I won't be able to bear another loss. Also, I can't help wondering if the feeling I had back in my early 20s that I'll never be a mother should be heeded. I know feelings can be just feelings, but I want to hear God's call on my life and I plan to spend the holiday break praying and listening to God.

1 comment:

  1. Argh...doctors can be so frustrating. I have the single MTHFR mutation and my OB thought that it WAS the answer to our IF/loss issues, the RE believes it isn't related/not proven, a hematologist felt the same way unless my homocystene levels were elevated. If that had been the case she thinks there us a correlation. I wish they could all agree!! The docs did decide that I should take a special prenatal vitamin (Neevo) that is especially formulated to assist with folic acid absorption for people with MTHFR. They also recomended taking a baby aspirin a day to help prevent blood clots. Just a couple thoughts in case they didn't mention those things. I know the single mutation is different but...

    I will be praying that you get some answers soon and feel at peace where you are.